IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL

I have a cool idea for a new campaign. I’m not much of a campaign blogger but if I was I would definitely launch an online campaign called: ‘If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.’ I’m sick of the sight of all the nasty tweets. Nowadays with one click, we are free to publish opinions that we would never dream of saying to the person face-to-face.  

A few weeks ago there were reports that the much anticipated new album by Leona Lewis has been pushed back until to spring. 'Leona Lewis's album has been pushed back further than Naomi's hairline,' tweeted one twenty-something writer. And in response to the published photos of Sarah Harding showing of her new tattoo; one feisty female PR tweeted: 'Don't be bitter - Glitter' - award for the worst tattoo in the world goes to Sarah Harding. Took some doing to beat Cheryl's barbed wire.'

So you can see why I want a campaign. I was told primary school that if I can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all. There are times when I remember that and it shuts me up. It’s interesting how certain quotes and phrases linger away in my memory bank for a lifetime - it’s the power of words. I love the way words have the ability to inspire, outrage and entertain us.On the other hand, words can wound us deeply. There are some word wounds that can take years to heal;those unkind words that flow through our ears and pierce our hearts like a sharp arrow. I think we all know this pain to some degree. I know I do.

So much for: ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.’ We often totally underestimate the influence of our words. I think if we truly understood their power we would be more cautious. I remember a wise Christian lady told me that when it comes to my words, whatever you do, just don’t let them it all hang out. 

Interestingly, the Bible has lots of advice for us regarding our words.  In the book of James, he says we should all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. Often I am the exact opposite: very slow to listen, quick to speak and quick to get angry. I’m much better than I was BC (before Christ) but I still need to work on taming my tongue or maybe even taming my thoughts, because that’s where it all starts right? I wonder how many friendships, relationships and marriages could be saved from strife if we applied these words of advice. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James Chapter 1, verse 19) should definitely be written on a brightly coloured post-it note and stuck on every fridge in the city. 
It’s times like this I wonder how I ever lived without God and the Bible. I guess this is one reason why my life was in such a muddle before. There I was doing everyday life without the manual for life. 

There is some real dross on twitter but also there are some real gems.
Earlier this week @ComedyandTruth tweeted: ‘Be careful with your words, once they are said, they can only be forgiven not forgotten.’ I say ‘amen’ to that.

SOMETHING WE ALL NEED TO READ AND REMEMBER AS WE BUSY OURSELVES WITH WORK, BILLS & STRESS

Last Friday, a friend emailed me the article below. It arrived in my inbox with the subject heading 'Something we all need to read and remember as we busy ourselves with work, bills and stress.' I saw these words and rolled my eyes. 'Not another email telling me to cheer up' I thought. As I scrolled down and read the words, I was so blessed and challenged that I had to share it on my blog.

REGRETS OF THE DYING by Bronnie Ware

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five: 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.


2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.


3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win. 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.


Based on this article, Bronnie has now released a full-length book, titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed by the regrets of dying people. It may be ordered through bookstores worldwide or from Balboa Press. It is also available via the link on this page. Details for wholesale orders may be found on Bronnie's official website. 

THE POWER OF A THOUGHT

Ladies, if you do one thing today, check out this AWESOME video message by Bishop TD Jakes. It's brilliant teaching on the power of our thoughts.
Let me know what you think.

Click-------> http://www.lightsource.com/ministry/the-potters-house/the-power-of-a-thought-part-1-254628.html


Enjoy!

Let Them Walk - Bishop T.D. Jakes

Check out this encouraging message from  Bishop TD Jakes! Fantastic food for thought!

20 LIFE LESSONS FROM 2011

As we approach 2012, I've been relaxing at home reflecting on all that I learnt in 2011. I thought I'd share a few of my life lessons from the past year.

1.     My fiercest battle is my internal belief system. Ultimately, it’s my beliefs about God, me and others that will govern my thoughts, words and reactions. It’s so important to continuously keep checking that my beliefs are inline with truth. 
2.   For my own sanity, sometimes I must put my feelings to one side and focus on the facts.
3.      I’m human. I make frequently make mistakes, but those mistakes don’t have to define me. Yippppeeeeeeee!

4.      Emotional decisions are rarely wise decisions.

5.      Being a Christian gal in the city doesn’t mean that I’m better than anyone else; I’m just better than I was BC (before Christ.)

6.     Bible verses are best kept in the context they were written.
7.     Unforgiveness is an trap; forgiveness is challenging but it leads to freedom.

8. Christianity is NOT a behaviour modification programme. I'm not a hypocrite; I’m a work in progress.

9. Some friendships are worth fighting for, but I cant be the only one fighting. 

Its okay for friends to grow in different directions

10.  I must never ever ever ever underestimate the power of sexual familiarity and attraction - it’s a powerful combination. Celibacy is easy peasy when you’ve got no one to have sex with.

11.  We share similar characteristics as animals because we have the same creator.

12.  Speaking out loud positive affirmations and declarations is not a very British thing to do but I find this incredibly uplifting. Maybe, should I have been American.

13.  NOTHING is impossible with God.

14.  Unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment.

15. I truly can stand firm under severe pressure with the strength of God in me but often I foolishly forget to ask for his strength. 

16.  People need support. No matter how talented, strong, intelligent and sorted you are. People need people.

17.   Man's rejection is often God's protection. It's cheesy but true.

18.  Worry is incredibly infectious and it doesn't work.

19.   God has perfect timing; never early and never late. It takes a lot of
patience and a little faith to wait without whinging.

20. Jesus is awesome. If you don’t know, get to know. If you know him, get to know him more.

Happy New Year everyone!

TEDxTeen - Natalie Warne - Anonymous Extraordinaries

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I stumbled across this moving video earlier today on TED.com

I'm reminded of the true power of persistence.

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

As we approach Christmas day, I've been thinking a lot about Mary. I've attended two nativity plays this year, so I know that it's easy to see her as a character in the school nativity play, but she was a real woman - just like us. Mary is such great role model.  As I ponder on the Christmas story and see her faith in God; I'm challenged, encouraged and inspired.

Here's three reasons why Mary is a fabulous role model to us women.

1.   She was Real:The Bible says: God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee,  to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you. Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. Mary was greatly troubled, not just troubled. It just goes to show that the tendency to assume the worst is nothing new. Mary was a real woman who worried just like we do.

2.    She was humble: The Bible says Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph. I'm sure she had her life all planned out until God changed the script. The angel said: "You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. She replied: " How will this be, Mary asked the angel, since I am a virgin? The angel answered, The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. I am the Lord's servant, Mary answered. May your word to me be fulfilled. Mary responded with faith and humbly chose to accept the plan God had for her life. She didn't start demanding her own way - no drama!

3.   She had self -belief: I'm sure there were plenty of experienced mothers to choose from. I find it really interesting that God chose an inexperienced mother to raise Jesus with Joseph. I admire the way Mary didn't allow herself to be defined by her past experience and disqualify herself from the call to be the mother to the son of God. Her self-belief is a awesome.  There's a lot we women can learn from Mary.

Wishing you a fun, relaxing and peaceful Christmas!

TUNE OF THE DAY! Jesus Culture - One Thing Remains

LET YOUR EMOTIONS SUBSIDE AND THEN DECIDE!

One thing that I admire about men is the way they don’t often let their feelings get the better of them. I saw this played out with a male friend as he weighed up the pros and cons of rekindling a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. I was stunned when he shared how he had decided to ignore his feelings in the decision-making-process and focus on the facts. I’ve never known any of my female friends to put their feelings to one side in this way. In my experience the decision to rekindle a relationship with an ex-boyfriend is usually heavily influenced by how you feel.
  Do we women need to man-up? While thinking about this question, It dawned on me why I always cherish my brother’s life advice in times of trouble. I realised that his view always usually diverts my focus on to the facts of the situation and far away from my feelings. Often my feelings aren't even rooted in truth. There is no point allowing how I ‘feel’ about a situation to swallow up the truth. Feelings are good and they have their place, but there are times in life when allowing our feelings to completely direct our responses and reactions is unhelpful.

  I’ve noticed that as much as I adore my journalism career; it’s a career path of peaks and troughs. There are days when I feel so ecstatic, literally on top of the world, when I’ve just emailed an idea for an article to an editor. Then when he or she doesn’t respond to my email within the 120 second timescale I’ve set; I feel deeply disheartened for hours. Then a few days later when I receive a reply in my in box, I feel all whirly again. It's hilarious! 
Editors are busy people and my email is just not the most important email in their inbox. As a new journo, it’s actually more important for me to practice staying calm, cool and collected. I always enjoy watching veteran journalists keep their cool under pressure.
  Maybe we women don’t really need to man-up but practice controlling our emotions; especially around that time of the month when our hormones are raging. 'Let emotions subside and then decide' says Joyce Meyer, one my favourite preachers. She argues that when we make choices based on our emotions, we often live to regret it. In the book of proverbs, the Bible teaches us that it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city. (Proverbs 16:32) This shows us the enormous value of self-control. I'm not quite sure why self-control is such hard work for us humans; all I know is that it's one muscle that I'm looking to strengthen in 2012.

"I will wait for you" by Poet JANETTE IKZ

This is my poem of the day. I love this woman- she' s awesome!

15 Questions Christian women need to ask a man before getting involved

I'm not sure about number 10 and 13 but he raises some valid points!!!

Lecrae - Wait (Intro) Tune of the day (part one)

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Lecrae - Wait - Tune of the day! Part two

This song is for all the single girls in the city waiting for Mr Right!

NO PAIN, NO GAIN!

I have a confession to make: I’ve been flirting with the idea of giving up my blog. It’s been a long while since my last proper post and I seem to have struggled massively with consistency this year. I couldn’t help but wonder; if I completely disappeared from the blogosphere, would anyone even notice that I was gone? I enjoy blogging but posting regularly is hard work, particularly when my things-to-do list is as long as the river Thames! “Never make a major decision when you are HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired),” a preacher once told me. I remembered this quote and realised that I was entertaining giving up my blog because I was incredibly tired. With this in mind, I decided to carry on because in life it’s good to persevere through personal challenges ESPECIALLY when we feel like giving up.

As I observe society, I see people who struggle to stay committed to jobs,
education, marriages, businesses, relationships, friendships and churches.
We seem to be a people who are good starters but not so good finishers. There is certainly a time to “give up” but there is also a time to persevere.
It’s usually when the initial flurry of excitement fades that thoughts of giving up begin to rear their ugly head.

How many married couples would still be together if they had just persevered through that tricky rough patch? How many students don't persevere long enough to graduate. And how many people would still be Christians if they had resisted the temptation to quit when their faith was tested? None of us are immune from discouragement!

Left to my own devices I tend to gravitate towards the path of least pain. 
But as the saying goes: "No pain, no gain." I’m learning that when I’m disheartened I can choose the pain of perseverance or the pain of regret.
Is it just me or do you feel like life is war? There are battles everywhere; both internal and external ones. To persevere means to try hard and continuously in spite of obstacles and difficulties which we all face. Perseverance is hard work which is why we are quick to give up on our goals.

Queen of Perseverance

One lady who inspires me is Arianna Huffington (right), she oozes perseverance from every pore. 

Arianna is one of the co-founders of internet newspaper The Huffington Post. At 23 her first book, The Female Woman, was published and she went on to write a second book which was rejected by 36 publishers. I repeat, 36 publishers, but she refused to believe that she wasn’t a writer, a determination reflected in her brilliant career. 

Today, there are people all over the world fighting for justice against human trafficking, pushing for change within the pornography industry, campaigning for better services for abused children and pestering MP’s over laws that are unjust. I’m sure there are times they feel like giving up the fight. I thank God for each one them and their perseverance. I don’t think I was ever really serious about giving up my blog; I enjoy it far too much. I will continue to fight the battle of inconsistency because I WILL win! Perseverance is not just for Olympic athletes that's for sure.

TUNE OF THE DAY! Rooftops by Kim Walker @ Jesus culture

I love this song!!! Enjoy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jesus shows up at Oprah's Legends Ball

PICTURE OF THE DAY!

WHY ARE WE WOMEN SO HARD ON OURSELVES?

Right. I’m glad you’re here, because I want to ask you a question.

Why are we women so hard on ourselves? I say “we” because I admit that I have the tendency to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hard on myself and from what I have observed of the wonderful women in my life - I know that I’m not alone.
I mention all this because earlier today, I was thinking about an article I read in Femail magazine. Professor Kristen Neff explored why women are often super self-critical, unable to take compliments and far too focused on their own failings. Sound familiar? If we women truly are the gentler sex, then why are we not more gentle on ourselves when we don't manage to cross off every task on our things-to-do list.
Prof Kristin Neff said: “The message we receive from the larger culture is loud and clear: other people are more important than yourself. You should be generous and forgiving towards others but punish yourself mercifully when you get it wrong.” The thought of women punishing themselves mercifully sounds rather vicious. The problem is that this tendency to be way too hard on ourselves is subtle; you’re probably unaware that you’re doing it. It’s always harder to break a bad habit that you’re unconscious of, right?
Often, I’ll be chatting away to a girlfriend, unknowingly beating myself up about some unrealistic or self-imposed expectation that I failed to meet when she’ll utter: “Selena, you’re human” or “Selena, you’re being way too hard on yourself”. But doesn’t it just feel grim when you get it wrong, miss the mark or when you let someone you love down. Or worst of all, let yourself down. Don’t ya just hate it!
Being punished or disapproved of for getting it wrong is wired into our belief system from an early age. Are we just picking up from where our parents and teachers left off?  Did the punishment we received as little girls leave us devoid of self-love and patience for ourselves? I once challenged a young female writer who was giving herself a thumping about her blog not being “excellent enough”. “Why are you being so hard on yourself?” I enquired. She replied: “I am an over-achiever, which means that if I’m not beating myself up about my writing, it will just be something else”. Her response unnerved me because whose standard was she measuring herself against, and is this standard even achievable? Maybe it’s time to exchange this tendency to be way too hard with a little more self-love and compassion. Maybe, it really is time to stop being so hard on ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live under the evil regime of unachievable standards or unrealistic expectations of myself and give myself a beating when I fail to meet the grade.
It's hardly the end of the world if I don't manage to cross off every task on my things-to-do list, or eat the recommended five-a-day of fruit and veg.
In an interview this week for The Sunday Times Style magazine, Sarah Jessica Parker said: "Things-to-do lists don’t work for humans, we are more complicated than that." She has a point about us being complicated but I love writing lists. I mean, they do work for some humans, don't they?

MENTAL SNACK: STAYING MENTALLY HEALTHY BY JULIO MELARA

Julio Melara

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes." - Ghandi

Are you conforming to the world’s thinking which is limited, cynical and negative? Or are you renewing your mind daily by thinking positive and imagining possibilities, opportunities and solutions? Feeding our mind a healthy diet of education, inspiration and motivation and having the right perspective on life leads to personal resiliency. Whether well known or unsung, successful people have at least one common denominator that is right thinking. Our thoughts shape our lives; for as we think in our hearts so we are, an ancient scripture says.

One of the world's foremost experts on optimism and motivation is Dr. Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania. In his book, Learned Optimism, he suggests that depression is primarily the result of wrong thinking. After years of research, he wrote, "Depression is caused by conscious negative thoughts." He went on to say, "Emotion comes directly from what we think: Think, ‘I am in danger,’ and you feel anxiety. Think loss and you feel sadness." He gives lots of examples in his book but the point is, if we change these habits or thoughts, we will cure seasons of depression, discontentment and discouragement.

Today, I want to encourage you and remind you that in order for your brain to think clearly, sustain a positive attitude and for your emotions to stay calm and steady, we need strong minds. That only happens as you transform your mind on a daily basis. Not once a month or every quarter but every day. What you dwell on, you empower and enlarge. Good always multiplies when you dwell upon it, but so does negativity. Which do you want more of? The choice is yours!

For more Mental Snacks from Julio, check out his website juliomelara.com

DO WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON WITH THE RIOTERS & LOOTERS THAN WE'D LIKE TO ADMIT?



Source:http://photoshoplooter.tumblr.com./



London still feels weird. The riots unleashed fear, dread and anxiety and the residue is still lingering in the air. A few of the stores where I live were looted and it just felt eerie to see them closed and boarded up. The media images of the utter chaos on the streets of my city seemed surreal.

I had an interesting conversation with some teenage boys who live opposite my apartment block. I’ve recently befriended them, so that they can give me quotes and insights for features or blogs, in exchange for the use of the swimming pool and Jacuzzi in my apartment complex. Yes, I have a swimming and Jacuzzi! I asked the boys if they were involved in the riots. They both shared how they were invited by their peers to join the looting but they declined. As we walked to the leisure centre I probed further with a flurry of questions: “Were you tempted to go?” “What stopped you?” and “What do you think of all that has happened?” I continued to fire questions and to my shock, I found Jesus! When all was said and done, it was the Christian values that had been instilled in them since leaving the womb 15 years ago, that prevented them from looting. It was refreshing to chat to some teenage boys, strong enough not to succumb to the heat of the peer pressure cooker .

Although there’s no healing in blame, I do agree with the Bishop of Manchester who said the “relentless erosion of Christian values” were to partly to blame for the riots.  Talking of Christian values, the sermon at church on Sunday was brilliant. The message was from the Old Testament book of Esther and we looked at what we can learn from her life about living out our faith in God, in a Godless culture. Talking about the riots, the speaker said: “The Bible doesn’t give us stories of good people and bad people but flawed, weak, morally conflicted, confused people and a good God. It’s important to remember this, especially after the events of the last week. While dividing the world into good guys and bad guys and heroes and villains works well for Hollywood blockbusters, real life just doesn’t work like that. There maybe many voices telling us the world is split into “them and us” but the Bible makes it clear that we share a common humanity. We are all made in the image of God and we all have the capacity for great good but also all us are fallible! Not just the kids on the estates, not just the rioters and looters, all of us have the capacity for wickedness. We have more in common with the young kids and adults who rioted and looted than we would like to admit. The truth is that if you and I would have been born to different parents, in a different time, into different community that could have easily been us.”

The mayhem in London last week was wrong. I can see why the public are so

outraged at all that went on, but I can not agree with people being thrown out

of their council homes and I won’t be signing the petition trying to justify it.

Britain has a justice system that deals with criminal behaviour and I don’t

understand why local councils are getting involved. Surely, that just makes the

 problem worse. It’s yet another example of the big gap between rich and

poor. Those convicted of rioting could lose their council homes but if you are

convicted and you or your parents own your home, you’re fine. That’s justice?

 The riots have definitely brought the social problems in London out from the

darkness into the light and I look forward to see what good comes as a result.

A Facebook status from a London community leader on my news feed really

inspired me: “We need to spend less time following the news, speculating on

the news, and more time following our youths and helping them to focus on

their future.”

RIP AMY WINEHOUSE

Photo: People

For the first time in a very long time, the front page splash of The Sun on Friday was good news. “Amy Winehouse's Camden Home to be Rehab HQ” screamed the headline. Is it just me or do you get the feeling that everything just seems so rushed? I mean, especially since the cause of her death still hasn't even been confirmed! It’s all just so so sad. It was disturbing to read some of the public reaction to the rehab HQ news; some people posted incredibly inappropriate tweets:

@D_Belkin said: "I think I need the help of the AmyWinehouseFoundation after choking on my vomit upon discovering the existence of the Winehouse Foundation"

@oh_her said: "wow ppl are still talking about winehouse? whats the big deal? she was gonna die sooner or sooner"

@JustAFanOfAFan said: "AmyWinehouse's house being turned into a rehab, it's basically jus gunna be like a treasure hunt for the patients"

I call this the dark side of social networking. Before Amy Winehouse was a pop starlet, well known for her beehive, thick black eyeliner, chart topping hits and her battle with alcohol and drugs, she was just Amy! A daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister and friend. Her family and friends are now grieving a loss so deep, that only those who have walked that road will truly be able to comprehend it. As I sorted through some old personal papers the other day, I came across this poem “Introducing Miss Heroin”. I recognised the handwriting belongs to an old friend from my teen days. Her mum was addicted to heroin back then, but thankfully nowadays she's free. I'm still a little baffled as I don't remember how I ended up with it. It's an incredibly old poem but at the same time it's the heart-breaking reality for many people all around the world enslaved to drugs like heroin. I'm not sure of the author but I thought I’d share it anyway. 

So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass, L.S.D., acid , cocaine, and hash and someone pretending to be a friend
Said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."
Well honey, before you start fooling with me,
just let me inform you how it will be.
For I will seduce you and make you my slave;
I've sent men much stronger than you to their grave.
You think you could never become a disgrace
and end up addicted to poppy seed waste.
So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon;
you'll take me into your arms very soon.
Then once I have entered deep down into your veins,
the craving will nearly drive you insane.
You'll need lots of money (as you have been told).
For, darling, I'm much more expensive than gold.
You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck,
you’ll turn into someone vile and corrupt.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charms,
And feel contentment when I'm in your arms.
The day when you realise the monster you've grown,
you’ll solemnly promise to leave me alone.
If you think that you've got the mystical knack,
then, sweetie, just trying getting me off your back.
The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in a knot,
the jangling nerves screaming for just one more shot.
The hot chills, the cold sweat, the withdrawal pains,
Can only be saved by my little white grains.
There's no other way and there's no need to look,
for deep down inside you will know you are hooked.
You'll desperately run to the pusher and then,
you’ll welcome me back into your arms again.
And when you return (just as I foretold)
I know that you’ll give me your body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart;
and you will be mine til death do us part!

PHONE HACKING IN THE CITY



Photo: thisislondon.co.uk

 Did you see the spoof trailer for Hackgate: The Movie? The drama, shock and suspense of the phone hacking media firestorm have all the hallmarks of a blockbuster film. I’m sure there are film writers in Hollywood pitching scripts as I write this week’s blog at home in my kitchen.

As I watched Wendy Murdoch jump to her feet and defend her husband against attack, I knew that she had unknowingly secured a role for herself in the film. Now, here’s a woman who took her marriage vows to love, honour and protect her husband very seriously.
One thing that I enjoyed about the scandal was watching the Culture and Media committee question the top bosses at News International, because I learnt more about the world of newspapers, listening to Rebekah Brooks answer their probing questions. Brooks had been a role model of mine since getting into journalism. Before I ventured down the journalism path, I’d never really had career role models per se. Nowadays I have eight or nine and I like to learn from them, and follow their careers and articles.
A week before I did work experience at The Sun which was the daily sister newspaper to the weekly News of the World. In my attempt to practice my investigative journalism skills, I explored the history of Britain’s biggest selling daily newspaper. I researched the career paths of the reporters and editors and this was where I came across the inspiring story of Rebekah Brooks. I discovered a determined female journalist who clearly knew what she wanted and pursued it. Before her shock resignation two weeks ago, she worked as the Chief Executive at News International which is not bad for someone who started her career as a News of the World secretary, working her way up to features writer, then deputy editor and editing both the News of the World and The Sun. 

As an aspiring journalist, I couldn’t help but be encouraged by her career, so to hear the news that she had been arrested on suspicion of phone hacking and corruption was disappointing to say the least. Okay, I know that tabloid journalism is often called the 'gutter press' but the truth is that tabloid papers actually do alot of good in society like campaigning for change. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes right now, but it’s true!
Rebekah Brooks told the parliamentary committee that she knew nothing of the evil at the News of the World and therefore she is innocent until proven guilty. For me, the words ‘phone hacking’ and ‘corruption’ just taint her inspirational story of climbing all the way to the top of the News International tree.
Last week as the media firestorm continued to burn, I was flicking through my Bible and I stumbled across this verse: “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out” (Proverbs 10:9) which is obviously in the Bible for a good reason as a warning to us all.

CALM, COOL & COLLECTED

Joyce Meyer - Bible teacher!

In life there is some knowledge that must shared; information that I just can not possibly keep to myself. With this in mind I thought I’d let you in on some of the incredible teaching on inner peace that I just heard from Joyce Meyer.  I’ve just finished listening to her teaching series Calm, Cool & Collected.
It’s crammed with practical advice on staying unruffled and peaceful in the midst of the day-to-day stresses we all face. A glass of wine or a few spliffs can provide a counterfeit peace but it won't last. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines peace as “a state of tranquillity or quiet and freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions.” Doesn’t that sound superb? Here's my notes from the talk:

KNOW THE VALUE OF PEACE

Do you see the value of having a peaceful mind? Like all things in life, if you are unaware of the value of something you won’t treasure or fight for it.

WHO, WHERE, WHY, WHEN & WHAT ROBS YOU OF PEACE OF MIND?

Keep a record of exactly what steals your peace of mind and look for workable solutions.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR PEACE 

Are you are sitting around waiting for the people and the world around you to change before you have peace of mind? Wake up and smell the Kenco!

We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. We can’t control the economy, government or what other people think, say and do but over time we can learn to control our responses and reactions.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT 

If you truly want to be a beacon of peace and a non-anxious presence to your colleagues, friends and family then you will have to choose it and have it on purpose. Practice, practice practice!

WORRY IS POINTLESS 

It’s normal and healthy to be concerned about circumstances and situations in your life, however often there’s a razor thin line between concern and worry. Worrying is usually unproductive and often a waste of time and emotional energy, instead stay calm and look for solutions.

TRY THE 20 PERCENT RULE

Often everything takes a little longer than you thought it would but having enough time to complete tasks definitely helps reduce anxiety. Whenever you feel as if you may end up racing against the clock, a good rule of thumb is to allow 20 percent more time than you think you'll need.

IT WILL ALWAYS BE SOMETHING

Some days it feels like, "it's always something". Just when you solve one problem, another is usually waiting around the corner to take its place.
That’s life eh? 

GOD IS GOOD, GRACIOUS & GLORIOUS

Christians are supposed to believe in God and his goodness. In the words of my friend Sasha Taylor: “what’s the point of being a Christian if you don’t trust God?” Since God is a relational God and not the old man with white hair in the sky, the more you get to know him, surely, the more you will grow to trust him.

To taste Calm, Cool & Collected click (here) and to purchase click (here)

TURNING 30!!

This morning I found myself thinking about the newly-wed Justine Thornton, wife of Labour leader Ed Miliband. At her wedding a few weeks ago Justine, 40, shared how as a little girl she had imagined that she would be married with two kids by the time she was 30 and not 40. I discovered that as I turned 30 last month, my life did not look how I had imagined it would. I was not in any way prepared for just how much sadness would be dispensed as I hit the big three zero. The days leading up to my birthday were hard, every time the thought of actually being thirty entered my head, I felt tearful. For a start, it felt horrid to wake up on my 30th birthday unemployed! I always hated working on my birthdays but this year, it would have been heaps more fun to bring cakes into the office and celebrate rather than waking up jobless and almost penniless.

I don’t know why but 30 just seems like I’m officially a grown up. Of course, I know it had to happen sometime but suddenly it’s like there’s no more excuses for not having my life completely sorted and struggling to keep up with things like my house admin.

Surely, one should really have life sorted by now. I shared my anguish with my 32-year-old girlfriend and her response surprised me. She said: “I don’t know anyone around our age with their life sorted”. She explained how many of her friends were battling feelings of “society shoulds”. Thinking that they “should” be on the property ladder or they “should” be in a long-term relationship. She shared how one of her friends who's in her thirties and on the property ladder but had recently become unemployed, so instead of doing a cartwheels and celebrating her bricks and mortar she was struggling with the horror of sleepless nights wondering how she was going to keep up with the mortgage payments. I know I’m not alone in believing that by the age of thirty, one should have life should be sorted but is it just case of unrealistic expectations leads to disappointment?

In her book Sex and the Soul of a Woman Christian counsellor Paula Reinhart says: “The truth is that every woman I know, myself included, lives with some very real unmet needs in her life-ones that tug at the heart daily. It may be childlessness, a dead–end career, a difficult marriage or a host of other wounds-but trust me, it’s there. No one comes through this life unscathed.”

A few hours before my actual birthday celebration, I thought long and hard about my twenties, the good and the bad and the damn ugly. The excruciating pain of my folly- the drunken casual sex, drugs, fashion fauxs and the frustration of doing day-to-day life as a budding atheist.

I felt quite relived to enter a brand new chapter of my life and leave the bad experiences well and truly all in past. To be totally honest with you, I’m not entirely convinced that my life will ever be completely sorted; maybe I’ll just spend the rest of my days sorting it out. In the meantime - I’ll work on keeping my expectations for every area of my life in line with reality and staying away from "society shoulds".